What's In My Fridge?

Time for a long overdue return to the ever popular What's In My Fridge?

Made In Scotland From...

There's nothing quite like a nice bottle of Irn Bru. It has to be in the original glass bottle, doesn't taste the same, or anywhere near as good in a can or plastic counterpart. In fact Irn Bru in plastic bottles does not taste very nice at all, but in a glass bottle it cannot be beat.

Although I was somewhat astounded to find that a single bottle will now set you back £1.25. Mind you, a little plastic bottle of coke/sprite etc is around the same and you could probably empty three or four of those into the classic Barr bottle. In fact that ought to be put to the test. Let's put this before the court of science and seek ultimate judgement!

My wife says that Irn Bru tastle like melted vomit, but what would she know?

Edinburgh Grafitti

Grassmarket

Grassmarket, Edinburgh. Pub. Beer. Ahhhh.









I spent the afternoon wandering around town taking photos. It was a particularly cold day, although I found a nice sun trap sitting at a table outside the pub. I like to do the tourist in my own city thing occasionally.

Cabbage Man Cometh!

This is the legendary Cabbage Man of Old London Town. In the late 18th Century he terrorised the cobbled streets after dark. He was often spotted approaching young ladies, disguised as a well heeled gentleman. He would, at the last moment, throw aside his top hat and fake mustache with a flourish to reveal his true identity. Many a young lass fainted at the sudden sight of the little green bastard, but not Felicity Marwood, who, upon being confronted with his wrinkled green visage, whipped out a stiletto blade and sliced off a leaf or two. Cabbage Man was never seen again. Although some say he simply left London for pastures new.

October 14th.

I don't know who of you out there, if any, will be aware of the supposed impending demonstration of the 'alien presence' in the form of a large space craft appearing over the southern hemisphere and remaining there for '3 of your 24 hour periods' due to begin on the 14th of October. This information was apparently channelled psychically to one Blossom Goodchild from a group of beings calling themselves 'The Federation Of Light'. There have been one or two offshoots of this, the internet rumour mills running amok, including claims that a large object was already 'visible' on google earth.

I find all of this fascinating. The UFO subject is plagued with such fantastical claims. As if the subject itself wasn't fantastic enough. Some may well say that is precisely the point, to inject incredulity into a subject already incredible, and to put otherwise interested and inquisitive (thus troublesome) parties off. This kind of thing is nothing new. The supposed chanelling of alien messages has been part of UFO culture for some time. The last comparable example I think would be the absurd Council Of Nine episode in the mid 1990's. This involved channelled messages from a group of 'concerned' and 'wise' alien beings called 'The Council Of Nine' who sent messages of 'love' and 'hope' etc via their earthly conduit, one Phyllis Schlemmer. All very new agey, couched in a mix of paranormal and hippie lingo. They must have lost interest in us boring human types because little has been heard from them for some time.

However they did have an impact. In 1995, at the peak of The Bonnybridge wave of UFO sightings, the local councillor Billy Buchanan called a town meeting to discuss the concerns etc of local people, many of whom had reported strange phenomenon in the skies over Bonnybridge, Scotland. I went to that meeting, along with a couple of friends of mine. Mostly out of curiosity, and for something to do really. What had begun as a serious meeting regarding serious concerns soon descended into the ridiculous with the prescence of Phyllis Schlemmer herself, who proceeded to waffle on about The Council Of Nine and how, basically, they were here to save us from ourselves, and that their coming represented a glorious new age of human consciousness. All of which resulted in most of those present walking out of the meeting in a mix of bemusement and outright disgust.

I think that at the heart of the UFO subject is a core of reality. This core reality is surrounded by a vast, gelatinous membrane of absurdity and nonsense. What that reality represents is what is really interesting. Come the 14th of October there will no doubt be some 'delay', some reason why the 'Federation Of Light' can't make it to the party. Maybe we are not sufficiently evolved to withstand the 'truth' of their presence. Maybe they will come down with a sudden headache...

Whatever Next?

I discovered something today while taking my son to the local pool for a swim. You are not allowed to dive in. It was very quiet. I made sure there was nobody near me, then I dived in, half hero/half porpoise, swam gracefully beneath the water, and surfaced like a God of the ancient world. Only to be met by the purposeful striding of a pool attendant, who was, striding purposefully in my direction. Not across the water you understand. They're not that powerful... 'Oh, are we not allowed to dive in?'
'No.'
'I see. Sorry about that.'
There were signs everywhere of course, featuring an image of a person diving into the pool, inside a red circle with a red line through the middle. Along with the words 'NO DIVING.'

Now if we were to conduct a Family Fortunes style quiz to find the 'top ten things people do in swimming pools', I bet that 'diving' would probably appear directly beneath 'swimming' and 'peeing'.

I'm just saying...